For thousands of years, no matter which ethnic background, cultural upbringing or point in history you choose, human beings have always come together through the mediums of food, music, dancing and mood enhancing substances to celebrate. A virus and a few months lockdown isn’t going to change that.
Photo courtesy of Christine Wehrmeier
Government wedding announcements - it’s not pretty
On September 22nd Boris Johnson took to the airwaves to announce further restrictions on weddings, cutting the number of guests from 30 to 15 and stating that these restrictions could last for 6 months. (The ‘could’ is crucial - I’ll get to that later) To say this threw the wedding industry into a tailspin is no understatement. Venues, planners and caterers alike found their phone lines a-buzz with panicked couples within minutes of BJ’s parliamentary speech. The industry had no prior warning on the announcement at all - dealing with our clients so quickly was an impossibility. On top of the shock of the 6 month time period (six whole months?!) we were also facing the existential question of whether there’d be further financial support for our sector. It wasn’t the best of weeks in the wedding game.
As if to pipe the final icing on the world’s worst wedding cake, this spiteful little article appeared in the Financial Times courtesy of Claer Barrett - just about topping off our week of doom.
Why Claer Barrett and the doomsters are wrong
Weddings come in all shapes and sizes. Speaking personally I’ve been involved in running weddings with budgets from £3000 to £3 million. From church halls to stately homes, back yards to royal palaces and literally everything in between. Right now I’ve settled my planning business into London dry hire weddings. We tend to work with couples who have saved their own budget, sometimes with a contribution from families and we are clear from the outset about the costs of running London weddings of this nature. They’re not the cheapest - but nor are they getting even close to the weddings of the super-rich.
Maybe it’s a London thing (and apologies if this piece is very capital-centric), maybe it’s the couples that are attracted to the venues we work with, or maybe, just maybe, it’s human nature. Whatever it is, we find that the attitude of the vast majority of our clients is a wish to throw the party of a lifetime. To celebrate their relationship and their journey with the best people in their lives. To eat, drink, dance, love, hug, kiss and wake up in the morning in that post wedding glow that wipes out any hangover. To express their gratitude to their friends and family in helping them on this journey through the medium of celebration.
Photo courtesy of Through The Woods We Ran
Clearly huge wedding celebrations aren’t suited to every one or every budget. A close friend of mine married last year by taking advantage of Southwark Registry Office’s £57 Tuesday wedding deal. The couple returned to their Peckham house with 12 close family members for a delicious meal from one of our favourite caterers, drank some carefully selected wines and had the best day of their lives. Total cost of the wedding (including new outfits) was under £1500. You don’t have to go big to celebrate.
If you choose to do things differently, you should, of course, expect to spend more. We are always clear with our clients from the outset that it is simply not worth starting your married life in debt you can’t afford. Cut your cloth accordingly. Even if you can’t reach to that dream warehouse location, there’ll be a beautiful London pub or restaurant that will gladly work out a fantastic deal for you. But for those who are considering the full dry hire route, let’s pick Ms. Barrett’s arguments apart a little.
“The average cost of a wedding has nearly doubled…. I blame social media” - what incredibly lazy journalism to blame everything on social media. How about looking at the cost of real estate and commercial rents (not only for venues but for those who need to cook the food and store the hire gear)? How about looking at the way most of us want to pay our staff at least a London Living Wage? How about looking at the cost of transporting goods across the capital? How about looking at the cost of ingredients and drinks - something which is only set to rise post Brexit?
“the nightmare of gift lists…. [looking] like a tightwad if you select a towel bundle” - whilst not claiming that gift lists don’t exist, I honestly can’t remember the last wedding I produced where the couple had one. The attitude of most of my clients is that they are just happy their guests are coming along - some of them have paid out for hotels or stag / hen weekends, and that is enough. And if you’re honestly afraid of looking “like a tightwad” in front of your hosts then I’m afraid that says more about your friendship than it does about so called societal pressure.
“I heard of one couple who asked guests not to buy them a gift, but to consider donating money to their housing deposit fund… [I] thought why not save it yourselves by having a smaller wedding?” - why not be a bit less judgey, Claer?
“the moment you say that anything from flowers, a taxi, or a hair-do is for a wedding the cost doubles” - one of the biggest lies about planning a wedding is that if you pretend it’s ‘just a party’ and don’t mention the W word you’ll magically half the costs. Do ingredients suddenly become cheaper? Is wine much better value all of a sudden if it’s not your big day? When we call the hire companies for quotes on furniture do they ask ‘is this a funeral or a marriage?’ Would you expect a musician to play for a pittance because there hasn’t been a big I DO? Of course not. The simple facts are that it’s not weddings that are expensive, it’s EVENTS that are expensive. Most couples don’t work in the events industry and simply don’t realise that. There’s a reason that gigs and festivals are so heavily sponsored and that product launch you went to was covered on the corporate credit card. Admittedly some wedding essentials come at a premium - we’d argue these are understandable. The pressure on a HMUA to have an entire crew of bridesmaids and mothers looking perfect within a few hours is palpable. The photographer who spends weeks editing and photo-shopping the thousands of shots needs covering for that time as well as the hours on the event.
“take some ‘inspo’ from the way weddings were in the 1970s… Guest lists were modest. Dresses were borrowed. Dishes were brought along. A reception in a church hall, or going to the pub… after the registry office, were the order of the day” - I have news for you, this still happens. And it’s fun, and creative, and fantastic. BYO dessert tables, vintage dresses, pub weddings and church hall receptions are fabulous - long may they carry on. But horses for courses, if you’d rather splash out a little, that’s your call. Harking back to the 1970s as if it was some kind of golden era also destroys the argument. We’ve moved on from cheese & pineapple sticks, dancing to Bay City Rollers and heading home early for a night in front of Love Thy Neighbour.
Photo courtesy of Eclection Photography
Weddings after the pandemic - bigger and better than ever!
Let’s face it, we’re all absolutely desperate to get back to some kind of normality. To lose ourselves on a late night dancefloor. To feel the sun on our faces at a festival. To see our favourite bands up close and personal. To hang out with loved ones without inhibition. We’ve been held back for too long and it appears to be carrying on, at least for the time being. Mr Johnson certainly hedged his bets by saying the restrictions “could” last for six months. But six months is a long time in Covid world. It’s almost exactly six months ago that we locked down properly - and that feels a lifetime ago. Our advice to our couples remains - be patient and hold your nerve. If we have to postpone we’ll help you to do that. But we WILL get there. Eventually.
And when we do? Wow. We simply can’t wait. We’re going to celebrate bigger and harder than ever before. All of those pent up emotions built up over months of lock down. All of those frustrations of pushing back your date again. All of that time missed with our nearest and dearest. Weddings after the pandemic will be a celebration of life and love like never before. The Wedding Arrangers can’t wait to be there with you.
Take care and stay safe x
Photo courtesy of Will Patrick Weddings
Food, music, booze
On top of the doom and gloom of the latest Covid wedding news we were also hit full in the face by the arrival of autumn. Summer finally let go on Tuesday and by Wednesday we were searching out our woolly jumpers and rain coats. What better hideaway for the first day of fall than the ever wonderful Noble Rot? In the week that the team opened their much anticipated Soho branch, we visited the Lamb’s Conduit Street original for their bargain set lunch and some fun exploring their spectacular wine list.
Musically we’ve been blown away by the surprise arrival of SAULT’s second album of the year Untitled (Rise) Prescient, urgent, stunning. Check it out now… And if you want something to look forward to, Roisin Murphy has announced a September date at Brixton Academy next year. Don’t sleep!